Lab Quote Friday- 3 Strikes, You're Out and a Nerdy Party

Well, our semester is coming to an end, so this will be the last lab quote Friday for a while :(   Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have more once our new batch of freshmen arrive in the fall.
Our department offers a general science class for students studying to be elementary teachers.  This class covers a wide variety of topics and has lots of fun labs.  I hate to pick on these students since they're not science majors, but one particular student has really been cracking us up this semester.  Here are 3 of her most special moments:

Professor:  How many days are there in February during a leap year?

Student:  Well, there are 31 days in a month, so... 32!

Student:  I just misspelled my last name!

During an activity where they had to color a world map, this student's map was mostly green with little blue blobs.  She had colored the land blue and the water green.  Something didn't look quite right :)

We had a retirement party for one of our professor's this week.  Dr. Reeves has been at ACU for 32 years, so we knew we had to do something special.  We came up with a periodic table cake and some fun cookies.  I think they turned out pretty cute!  We're such nerds!

Periodic table cake- about 40x50"

Erlenmeyer flask cookies

Beaker cookies

Test tube cookies

One of the gifts Dr. Reeves received from our department was a benzene ring branding iron (he owns a ranch with several animals).  His wife sure knew what to do with it! 

We sure do have fun in this department!

Current faculty and staff (minus one) and some retired faculty

Lab Quote Friday: Packing Peanuts

In Organic Chemistry lab this week, the students made slime, silly putty, and other fun stuff.  They were also observing the difference in various packing peanuts.  During the pre-lab lecture, the professor was explaining the difference between polystyrene packing peanuts (the traditional styrofoam peanuts we've all seen) and polyglucose packing peanuts (the new starch-based biodegradable packing peanuts).  At the end of the lecture a student approached the professor:

Student:  I don't think I'm going to be able to participate in lab today.

Professor:  Oh?  Why is that?

Student:  Well, I'm allergic to peanuts.

Hahaha!  I'm still laughing about this one.  If you have a peanut allergy, you should certainly know the difference between a real peanut and a packing peanut!

Polystyrene packing peanuts

Polyglucose packing peanuts

Cultivated peanuts!!

Lab Quote Friday: A Lesson in Biology

Boy, we've had some fun in our department this week.  I think people are just really ready for spring break already- one more week!
So here's a conversation from lab yesterday that was using yeast as a catalyst.  Josh, you're going to love this one.

Lab boy:  So, where does yeast come from?

Lab girl:  Didn't you take biology?

Lab boy:  I mean, like, back in 1800s, where did they get their yeast?

Me (sarcastically):  Walmart

Lab boy:  No, I'm serious.  Is it like part of a plant or something?

Me:  Ok, really, did you take biology?

Professor:  It's a unicellular organism.  A eukaryote. 

Lab boy:  Oh yeah...

This may or may not have been the same lab boy who broke a thermometer into 3 pieces while trying to remove it from the protective case.  The case was not broken.

Here's the best thing that happened in our department this week.  Some students decorated one of the organic chemistry professor's office.  It was quite a sight.

Everything was completely wrapped in foil.

File cabinets, couch...

plastic cup garland

"The Organic Throne- place bum here"

Books completely wrapped

telephone, pictures

plants, pictures, pens

shoes

Tree with wrapped ornaments

nerdy chemistry mugs- this is my favorite!

Lab Quote Friday: Bragging Day

Titus has nothing to do with this post.  I just decided to put this picture in because I love him.  A good friend of ours had to put his dog down last week, and it's just made me more appreciative of my pup lately.








Well, I didn't have any good quotes for this week until this morning, and we didn't even have labs going on!  Ok, so these aren't really funny lab quotes, but they made my day a little brighter.
As I was working in our general chemistry labs this morning, a few maintenance guys came through to test our fume hoods.  As soon as they walked in the boss guy said, "These are the best looking labs in the whole place!"  Yea, that was the best quote of the week for me :)
A little later, a student was walking around the building with her parents showing them where she has classes and labs.  Her mom used to be a chemistry major back in the day, so she was especially interested in the lab.  She introduced herself and said, "So you're a student here?"  I said, "Well, I was 10 years ago, but now I'm the lab manager."  "Oh, you just look so young!"  I used to really hate being mistaken for a student, but as I get more and more grey hairs, I don't mind so much :)
Sorry these aren't really lab quotes.  The students did lots of dumb things this week, but they were just frustrating and not so much funny.  Maybe they'll come up with something better next week...

Lab Quote Friday: Melting Point Tube

I'm sorry my lab posts have been so sporadic/non-existent this year.  Students are still doing funny things, but it's the same stuff you've already seen before.  Today is a little different.  This quote comes from our honors organic lab.  Yes, I hate to admit it, even the honors students have their moments.
So I was in the stockroom and a girl came to the window and picked up a disposable pipet.

Lab girl:  Is this the capillary tube used for the melting point apparatus?

Me:  No, that's a pipet.  The melting point tubes are by the balances.

Lab girl (confused):  Oh, right.  The balances?  Are they over there?  (pointing toward the balances)

Me:  Yes.

What I wanted to say was...
First, please don't stick that pipet in the melting point apparatus, unless of course you want to find the melting point of plastic and then clean it up.
Second, we have been using melting point tubes nearly every week since last August!
Third, we have been using disposable pipets nearly every week since last August!
Forth, we have been using the balances nearly every week since last August!
Have you been in this class since last August?

Left: disposable pipet,  Right: melting point tube

One more thing.  Packaging is getting ridiculous these days.  It is not uncommon for me to receive boxes like this containing 1 small bottle:

I'm sure there are shipping requirements, but this is crazy!

Lab Quote Friday: Word of the Week- Flocculent

This week in lab, the students did an experiment where they made alum (see picture) from coke cans and then tested it as a flocculent.  Aaah- spell check doesn't know the word flocculent!  Well, neither do the students.  Do you know what it means?  I'm betting a lot of people have never heard this word much less know its definition.  So today we are going to expand our vocabulary!
Here's what Wikipedia has to say:

1.  "Flocculation, in the field of chemistry, is a process wherein colloids come out of suspension in the form of floc or flakes by the addition of a clarifying agent."
In our case, the clarifying agent (or flocculent) was alum.
2.  "Water treatment-  Flocculation and sedimentation are widely employed in the purification of drinking water as well as sewage treatment, stormwater treatment and treatment of other industrial wastewater streams."
We used our alum to purify some simulated dirty water in the lab.  Students got to see the impurities come out of suspension and settle to the bottom of their test tubes.  Cool!

So, there you have it.  See if you can use flocculent in your conversations today :)  Oh, you need an actual lab quote today too?  OK!  

Lab girl:  Is flocculent even a word?

Lab Quote Friday- A Lesson in Colors and Reactions

I know today is Thursday, but it's really our Friday due to fall break.  Hooray for a long weekend!

The first quote from this week comes from a TA.  Yes, that's right, sometimes our teaching assistants also make me laugh.  I just had to share this one.

Male TA:  I have to give everyone 2 extra points on their lab reports.

Me:  Oh yeah?  Why is that?

Male TA:  Well, on the flame test, everyone wrote down lavender for one their answers.  I thought lavender was pink.  I eventually Googled it and learned that it is really purple.  That was such a guy thing to do!

The second quote comes from a lab where students were testing reactions of different metals.

Lab group 1:  Are any of yours reacting?

Lab group 2:  No, they're all just bubbling.

A few minutes later...

Lab group 1: Did you see a reaction yet?

Lab group 2:  Nope, still just bubbling.

Lab group 1:  Yeah, ours too.  

Lab Quote Friday- Stupid Questions

 As part of our safety overview at the beginning of the semester, we have the students do a scavenger hunt.  They aren't collecting anything, but they have a map of the first floor and have to find locations of things like the fire extinguisher, safety shower, eye wash station, etc.  Because the science building can be a little confusing, we also have them mark where the classroom is and where the gender appropriate restroom is.  The restrooms are in opposite corners of the building and not well marked, so it's good for them to learn where they are.

So I'm in the lab when Lab BOY approaches his TA:  So for the appropriate restroom, should I mark the MEN'S restroom?

Poor young female TA didn't quite know how to answer his question.  She glanced at me with a bit of panic on her face and I just laughed.  Eventually she muttered, "Um, yeah, that's fine." 

I probably would have come back with something like, "You're not getting credit for this assignment if you can't even figure out which restroom to use!" 

Another reason I'm just a lab rat and not a teacher!

In a different lab the students were mixing hydrogen peroxide with yeast and measuring how much gas was produced.  As I'm sure you can imagine, the more reactants you use, the more gas is produced.  Simple, right?  So I'm walking around the lab making sure everyone is doing ok.  One group was looking confused.

Me:  How are you guys doing?

Lab boy:  We don't know what's going on here.  We are getting a lot more gas this time.  What did we do wrong?

Me:  Did you use more or less hydrogen peroxide than your first experiment?

Lab boy:  More

Me:  So should that produce more or less gas?

Lab boy:  Oh!!  It should produce MORE gas! 

Lab Quote Friday- Thermometers

Sometimes the simplest things cause the students the most trouble.  Take thermometers for instance.  Sometimes we use temperature probes hooked up to a computer, but for simple experiments we just use good ol' mercury thermometers.  You know, the glass rod containing mercury with a temperature scale printed on it?

Well, it's sad to say, but students no longer understand such simple tools.  We had 5, yes 5, groups using their thermometers while they were still in the protective tubes this week.  I have to admit that I love seeing the looks on their faces as I walk by and say, "Make sure you take the thermometer OUT of the case to get an accurate reading."  It's quite hilarious!  They'll often say, "I knew something wasn't right."  Yeah right, you had no idea!
But this week I overheard a comment regarding thermometers that I have never heard before.

Lab boy (getting quite frustrated):  I just can NOT read this thermometer!  How am I supposed to read this thing?  Where is the red light?  Isn't it supposed to have a read light?  I don't see it!

I have no idea what red light he was looking for, but it was pretty funny.  His lab partner eventually saw the mercury line and all was right with the world.  Crazy how a simple thermometer can frustrate these tech savvy kids!
*On a nerdy side note, only one thermometer broke this week (which is way less than normal) and I got to use a new mercury clean up tool I bought.  Yes, I was excited about it and it worked great.  One of the professors is now calling me Mercury Queen :)

I have other stories from this week, but I'm going to save them for weeks when I am lacking good material. Here's the freshman story I alluded to last week.  It doesn't involve the lab, but you might enjoy it anyway.

Freshman (clearly lost and getting frantic):  I am never going to find this class on time!!  I don't know where this room is!

Me:  Can I help you find something?

Freshman:  I am looking for room 135.

Me:  Um, that room doesn't exist in this building.  Are you sure about the room number?

Freshman:  Oh!  Maybe it's 185.

Me:  Well, that's the Pchem lab, so that's probably not right either.  Can you pull up your schedule so we can make sure you're in the right building?  What class are you looking for?

Freshman (pulling out his iPhone to look up his schedule):  It's calculus class.  

Me:  Ok, you're in the right building, but you need to go upstairs.  Did you find the room number?

Freshman:  It's 205!!  The course number is 185.

Me:  Well, that makes sense.  Room 205 is upstairs at the front of the building.

Freshman:  Thanks.  Yep, I'm a freshman, just your typical freshman.

Me (thinking):  You said it, not me!

Lab Quote Friday Returns!

Well, I can't promise any consistency at this point, but we'll give lab quote Friday another go.
This week in General Chemistry lab, the students were experimenting with volume, pressure, and temperature.  The equipment they used involved a 3-way valve.  I have discovered that 3-way valves are very confusing to a lot of people, even when they have a podcast that explains it very well.  On top of that, the lever that turns has an arrow and the word OFF printed on it.  Common sense (and the podcast) should kick in and tell you that wherever the lever is pointed is the direction that is turned off.  Well, some people just don't get it.  Here's a conversation I had this week.

Lab girl:  "Nothing is happening here.  No matter what we do, the pressure stays the same."

Me:  "Ok, let's look at your set up here."  Me thinking:  Of course the pressure is staying the same, you have the valve turned to where OFF is pointed toward the pressure sensor!  But of course we want the students to try to figure things out, so I try to help a little:  "Take a look at your 3-way valve and tell me why you have it set the way it is."

Lab girl (not even looking at the valve):  "I don't know."

Me:  "Ok, do you know what the blue lever is doing?"

Lab girl:  "No."

Me:  "What does the blue lever say on it?"

Lab girl (not even looking at the lever):  "I don't know."

Me thinking:  LOOK at the lever and READ what it says!!!

Me:  "Look at the lever.  What does it say?"

Lab girl:  "Oh! OFF!"

Me:  "Yes!  Now, why isn't your pressure reading changing?"

Lab girl:  "I don't know."

AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Me:  "What is turned OFF right now?"

Lab girl:  "The valve?"

Me (I've lost all hope for this girl at this point):  "The valve is turned OFF toward the sensor right now.  That means that no matter what you do to the rest of the system, the sensor is not detecting the change because the valve is closed in that direction."

Lab girl:  "Oh!!  So, do I need to change that?"

This could be an interesting semester!

On another note, I am sitting in on the Gen Chem lectures this fall.  I never actually took this class because I started out an animal science major, and they take a different entry level Chemistry class.  So, I may have some good quotes from class this semester too.  So far, I've just observed how little algebra they know.  It's sad really.
One funny thing did happen this week though.  Some kid walked in right before class started and looked totally lost.  After several seconds of confusion, he said, "Oh, I think I'm in the wrong class."  This is the THIRD week of class!  Really, he should know where his classes are by now.  AND he's not even a freshman.  Oh, speaking of freshman, I have a good first-day story to tell.  I'll save it for next week :) 
And finally, this is for Shelly, courtesy of the West Texas Fair and Rodeo that we went to last night.  I thought you might like this!  (Shelly loves animals snoots)

Lab Quote Friday #13- Three important lessons

I don't think these really count as lab quotes, but these are the things that have made me laugh lately:

#1.  A lesson on the correct use of your common test tube holder
This is how a test tube holder SHOULD be attached to the ring stand

A view from above

This is how NOT to use this equipment

Maybe this view will illustrate the problem more clearly

Do you see it now?  I don't think I need to explain what happens when you tighten a screw into a glass test tube, but here you go
 

#2.  A lesson on improving your grade- ALWAYS take free points when your professor offers them!

Josh was short on quiz material one day, so he included these 2 questions:
9.  Free question
     a) correct
     b) incorrect
     c) incorrect
     d) incorrect

10.  Free question
     a) correct
     b) incorrect
     c) incorrect
     d) incorrect

TWO students choose "incorrect" on both questions!  One student chose "b" both times, and the other chose "d" both times.  Lucky for them, Josh was feeling generous and gave them the points anyway.  Me?  I would have counted them wrong!

#3.  A lesson in paying attention in class
Josh had a student tell him last week, "I think I've taken this class before."
Keep in mind, we are about 3 weeks from the end of the semester.

Lab Quote Friday #12

Just one for this week, but it made me laugh.

"How much ethidium bromide would I need to be exposed to to become Spider-man?"

I totally love the kid that asked this.  He's only a freshman, so I'm sure he will be the source of many more lab quotes in the future.
Hope y'all have a great weekend.  I have a craft room overhaul in the works- so exciting!!  I'll try to remember to take pictures...

Lab Quote Friday #11

I broke a promise.  I said I would start up lab quotes again in the spring.  Well, here we are finishing our 6th week of class and I haven't delivered.  Here are my excuses-
1.  I haven't spent as much time around the students this semester
2.  When I have been in the lab, I haven't witnessed too many funny things
3.  The funny things I have seen have already been blogged about

So while I'm obviously not going to be able to post every week, I promise to post whenever I get some good material.  Like today!

Lab Boy:  "I know propyl means it has 3 carbons, and butyl means it has 4 carbons, but how do they look different?"

Lab Girl sees me carrying a large container of acid into the lab to refill their supply: "Dude!  Did you see that huge jug of acid!?!  I could, like, smell it way over here."
Me thinking:  It wasn't nearly that exciting and no, you could not smell it.  I don't want to know what you were actually smelling.

And this is a repeat, but it still cracks me up every time.  2 groups of students were trying to use their thermometers while they were still in the cases, and 1 group had theirs upside down.  Somehow their experiment just didn't work as expected!

In other lab related news, our mascot is getting old.  On top of a graying face and balding belly, Titus now has arthritis.  His new nickname is Arthritis Titus.  Poor pup!